Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Mornings are the worst. exDH was out the door at 7am which was nice... I was still in bed. Once he was gone it becomes more peaceful and less "on edge" but then the lonliness rears up. Called my sister about 9am which was good to get some adult contact... makes it a bit easier and I think it sort of sets me up for the next few hours.

I need to invite people over for morning tea or something - set up playdates. Have no idea who or what I would talk about with them. It seems all I focus on at the moment is my failed marriage. I really need to get some better focus... will work on that. Like sis said - next year once the twins are in primary school and Jacks in grade one there may be more opportunities for playdates.

Was browsing a bookstore on line today - making a wishlist of various books that sound like good self help coping ones for me at the moment.... may buy a couple on payday.

I am rediscovering the things that used to get me excited and interested in life. I really really really like some selected retro things - not sure what its called but stuff by the Eames brothers etc... I really like some of the mushroom lamps, curvy furniture and eggball chairs etc... I love the bright orange and green colours etc and hot pink (not sure this is retro but I like it ) etc brightening up a room. I can also now admit I hate black furniture. We have a bunch of it in this house and he can have it as far as I am concerned! We never had the same taste in furniture and I compromised that. Don't have to anymore! Not that I have money for new furniture but I can think about it and watch stuff on ebay and slowly slowly buy things as i like.

Not sure what else I am interested in though... I have spent a decade supressing what I really think and like and want. It  may take a while to figure out whats really "me"..

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